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REFLECTIONS ON GOING BACK TO TOURING – PART IV: I NEEDED TO BE IN GOOD HEALTH TO DO THIS AGAIN, OR: THERE IS NO WAY AROUND ADVOCATING FOR YOUR HEALTH.

I probably could have cut down this whole series to one sentence: you cannot work hard unless you are in good health. I couldn’t have done this 3 years ago, and I am acutely aware that I mustn’t overdo it, because I know I do have limits and aging also means that more shows is not the way it should logically go.

This is perhaps the most important topic related to touring – namely, how being in good health is actually a prerequisite for it, and how it can jeopardize your health – but I feel that, barring a few exceptions when very famous artists have had to cancel huge tours, especially at the time of Covid, this is brushed under the carpet, as if too private somehow or perhaps even embarrassing (aging and illness are probably the most rejected aspects of human existence).

And sure, a person’s state of health is eminently intimate and no one should feel like they have to disclose anything they are not willing to disclose, but to me this general state of affairs often feels like the elephant in the room, one that perhaps prevents us from hammering a truth that is however well-worth hammering: advocating for your health will probably be necessary at some point in your life, it will be probably be the hardest thing you’ve ever done and it will also be the most important.

I couldn’t have gone back to playing shows if I had not been proactive about getting proper treatment for my untreated, then undertreated autoimmune hypothyroidism, which left me in a zombie-like state from 2018 to 2020. When I decided to quit live playing in 2021, I was still in the process of getting my energy levels back to normal again, and my fear of not being able up to the task was the main factor in my decision to quit, along with chronic stress, which was exacerbated by that fear.

I won’t go into more personal detail here, but I still have to advocate for my health, and if you are going through health challenges, I would like to send you my encouragement to start or keep advocating for yourself, in spite of how hard and infuriating this can be.

Photos are of one of my favourite shows ever, the Berlin show at Silent Green on 20th October 2023.

23 FEBRUARY: ALBUM LISTENING SESSION IN CHIQUITA ROOM, BARCELONA

On 23rd February, we will hold a listening session of Le jour et la nuit du réel at art gallery Chiquita Room in Barcelona: I will be there to present the album and we will hold a Q and A afterwards.

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